It may seem desperately unfair that adopters, unlike other parents, have to go through many months of form-filling, interviews and preparation courses before a child comes into your home. But social workers often say that parenting an adopted child is "parenting plus". You'll need all your parenting skills and then more.

 

Adopted children come with their own history - some with particularly tragic histories - and adopters need to accept and acknowledge this. You need to tell the child about adoption and be ready to talk about it at any time.

 

Sometimes, you may need to take the child to see members of his or her birth family, and pass on Christmas and birthday cards and letters to and from them. You need to understand how a child's feelings about growing up in an adoptive family may affect the way he or she behaves.

 

Of course, you must have the time, skills and commitment to give one or more children a safe, stable, secure and loving home.

 

Any parent knows it's probably a good idea not to be a perfectionist - the best-behaved children create a bit of mess and disruption.

We will help you to manage and resolve both major and minor conflicts.

 

And having a sense of humour will rescue you when things seem particularly grim. But you don't have to have had a charmed or 'perfect' life - people who have worked through problems are often stronger for the experience.

 

Perhaps the best way of finding out more about what being an adopted parent is like is to hear from other adopters.